By Isabell Macrina
Weekly Staff
In 1997, psychologist Arthur Aron explored whether intimacy between two strangers could be accelerated by asking each other a set of 36 questions, or 36 questions to fall in love as presented by an episode of “The Big Bang Theory.” Today, the people at National Public Housing Museum have modified the questions to promote Civic Love between strangers. Civic Love is ones love for society, prompted by the goal of a common good and the commitment to achieving it. The staff at Westwood Public Library wanted to bring these questions and community to the people who frequent it and printed the questions for a “Civic Love Brunch” that anyone could attend.
The meeting room of the library had tables set up with the questions printed, and encouraged anyone in attendance to sit with strangers and talk to them. The back also had many breakfast treats and tea for people to enjoy. Because what bonds people better than breakfast? They also had books on display that
The questions ranged from “what wakes you up in the morning” to “what is something unselfish you’ve done recently?” What started with innocent questions where we discussed cats waking us up in the morning and our favorite spots to eat became deeper. I learned about someone’s college experience, how he fell in love with his wife, and how a teacher shaped his love of birdwatching and classical music that he has carried with him throughout his entire adult life. We shared book recommendations and upcoming releases we are excited for. I shared stories from my life with people I never would have talked to otherwise, for fear of judgement and the wariness from my initial judgements of them and wondering wether I would be safe in the situation. We talked about what steps we would take to better the community, where we would place sidewalks and talked about how we would step in if we heard a domestic dispute.
After an engaging and surprisingly deep conversation, everyone was prompted with the question “Name one thing you learned from this conversation that you want to carry into your daily life?” A gentleman I had a pleasant conversation with, quoted the television show “Ted Lasso.”
“Be curious, not judgmental.” And I cannot think of a better way to summarize the morning. It allowed everyone to be open with their ideas to make their neighborhoods better, to share what they think about with issues, and how we became the people who make up Westwood.
